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Member for

13 years

Posts: 2,841

I and my wife are in a very dark place at the moment. I ask only those who understand to reply.
Our rescue cat Becky had to be put to sleep today despite our best efforts to keep her alive.

Her history was as a rescue cat(as all the others before her were) and we have had her since she was one,eleven years ago.
She must have had a terrible time before we got her as she was afraid of most things for all her life. We never left her except to go shopping in all that time.She always came in to use her litter tray and tagged my wife wherever she went. In fact she never left our garden in all her life!
She never killed anything in fact she was scared of birds.

Two months ago her breathing became bad and on taking her to the Vets and x rays scans and blood tests showed she had acute heart problems.
To be fair to the vets they gave me the option or having he put to sleep or draining the fluid outside her lungs drained off and tablets three time a day to try and keep it in check so I went for the latter. This draining went on every two weeks and the last one was on Friday.She was fine as every time she had this procedure she was a new cat. I was playing with her at 3.15 this morning. 5.0 am I heard her sneezing and went to see her and she was sneezing blood. My wife and I sat with her and she acted OK but for a cat that never stopped purring she had. So we took her to the vets and there was no hope. That was the end. Big tough man that I am is writing this in floods of tears feeling lonely and that my guts have been kicked in.Jenny and I are in our 70's so she was our last cat as we can't go through this again, as any cat we even had would probably outlive us.

Sorry to post this but I had to tell some one.

As I said only reply if its positive, any "its only an animal" will hurt and anger me!

Paul

Original post

Member for

12 years 9 months

Posts: 331

You have my sympathy Paul.

Having been through similar emotional trauma with one dog and 2 cats, I know exactly how you feel. My last cat had very similar problems to yours, and it was heartbreaking to cuddle him in the Vets, while the injection was administered. He even licked my face as his last conscious action.

Cabbage

Member for

13 years

Posts: 2,841

Thank you for your reply I am sorry you had to go through that as well.

Member for

17 years 5 months

Posts: 8,980

Paul, you gave her a chance at a loving life, something that she never had before, remember the good times and try not to dwell on your loss, without both of you her life would have turned out differently. I feel for your loss.

Member for

13 years 5 months

Posts: 3,381

Paul, I am sorry for your loss. From what you have written it sounds like her life was full of joy and love until the end, and I think that's all we can reasonably hope and ask for. I lost my dog a couple of weeks ago -- my best friend of thirteen years -- and his decline was, thankfully, similarly rapid. I'm much younger than you are, and this is the first time death has struck so close to home. In the days and weeks since, I've noticed I have become more attentive to the people around me, and I believe this is final lesson for me -- to cherish those close to us, all the little moments, because we never know when they will be no more.

Here is Punky confused at being told to stay on the grass because his owner wants to take a photo!

http://i.imgur.com/NEWj0Cv.jpg

Having discovered a packet of chips while out walking:

http://i.imgur.com/iGWuaVH.jpg

Just a few hours before the end:

http://i.imgur.com/PMjMP34.jpg

Sorry again for your loss, Paul, my thoughts go with you and your wife.

Member for

13 years 9 months

Posts: 8,306

Hi Paul. I, as you know, had a crap year last year, and was left to look after two small Bicheon dogs. Poppy, who was 12, and Sukie who was 8. Just a couple of weeks prior to Christmas, Poppy, although she seemed her normal self, was off her food. I took her to the Vets, where it was found she had a massive tumour. My eldest daughter had come with me to thhe Vets, and the vet told s Poppy had about 2 or 3 months tops to live, and in that time she would be in pain. Part of me wanted to take her home, but another part of me thought it would be kinder to remember how she was at that moment. The vet left me and my daughter alone, to make a decision. We both thought it would be kinder to Poppy to have her put to sleep, there and then. An injection into her foot, and within just a few seconds, she was gone. I was holding her in my arms as she was put to sleep. Even at 73 yrs, I sobbed my heart out. It would have been bad at any time, but bang on Christmas...... I still have Sukie, and we have bonded very well, and she gets spoiled to death, follows me everywhere. Paul, you did the right thing, and I feel for both you and your wife. All any pet needs is food and drink, and YOU get devoted love from them.At time, life sucks.
Jim
Lincoln .7

Member for

24 years 2 months

Posts: 16,832

We took Biggles on his last trip in 2002, 19 years old and deeply missed. We both held and stroked him as he slipped away. Within six months we had brought Harvey home from Wood Green Animal Shelter. Now 13 years on we know his time will soon come, but presently he's content and tolerates the 'kittens' (They are 7, but will remain 'kittens' until Harvey passes)

We identify with your pain Paul. But you did what was necessary.

Moggy

Member for

14 years

Posts: 4,996

I know exactly what you are going through Paul, and you have my deepest sympathy.
We have never actively gone out to get a cat, they just come to us. Our Duffy was a beautiful
tortoiseshell cat, who hardly left my side when she was indoors. Then all of a sudden she stopped eating.
Eventually I had to take her on her final journey to the vets. I hardly stopped crying for a week, as I
missed her so much. I buried her in her favourite spot in the garden, joined a few years later by the cat
who had moved in with her.
I remember saying to the vet, that after having two cats put to sleep, that was it, no more.

Then Phil turned up on our back door step when there was snow on the ground. I found out where he
came from and took him home. Within a week he was back, and the owners never came to reclaim him.

Best wishes to you and your wife Paul.

Member for

12 years 11 months

Posts: 6,535

I don't think that one ever loses the pain that accompanies the passing of a pet. My last, very unusual moggy died 25 years ago and still I think of him and feel wretched.

It's a tough time Paul. Thinking of you.

Member for

18 years 2 months

Posts: 485

Paul. I know exactly how you and your wife feel. It is a tremendous loss to lose a pet you love and who loves you. I also apologise if this post brings more tears to your eyes, but I am sure that Becky is at the Rainbow Bridge playing with all the other pets and my boys.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...

Member for

20 years 6 months

Posts: 245

Total sympathy from me too, can be heart breaking when its time for a much loved pet to go, I would love to have a cat where I live, but no pets policy.
We always seemed to end up with the local strays which always seemed to turn out to be the most loving,affectionate cats going. Unfortunately they always had health problems.
Never forget taking one to the vets for the last time (Feline Leukaemia?), Bob, all black, one eye and a stump for a tail....just before the end, he managed to climb up my arm and onto my shoulder.....

Rii, lovely photo's of Punky, hope you have them properly archived.

Member for

18 years 7 months

Posts: 1,376

My heart goes out to you, mate. My family always had at least one cat, from before I was born till we lost our last one when I was in my forties. Broke my bloody heart when he went, and like you I knew I couldn't face going through it again. Thinking of you.

Member for

13 years

Posts: 2,841

Thankyou for all your messages,Jenny and I have taken comfort from them. As you can image from my post we are both in bits, numb, very sad tearful and running on autopilot it is nice you are here for us.I would like to thank you all by PM but please forgive me for not doing so as I don't feel up to it.

Paul

Member for

15 years 8 months

Posts: 135

I have spent a wasted morning trying to remove a broken blade from my reciprocating saw.
So I have given up and returned indoors for a nap and a skive. However, my frustrations suddenly dissipated, for stretched out on my sofabed are my two sheep dogs. Both 11 years old, they make room for me. There is nothing quite like it. Lots of licks and cuddles. My mood instantly mellows, but then dwelling on Pauls letter I am reminded that there’s probably only another year with these two wonderful dogs. I have been up this road before, as many of us have I suppose, and I still have not gotten over the loss of my first herding sheepdog eleven years back. One of the saddest days of my life. My sympathies to you Paul, for there is nothing quite so painful as the loss of a loving pet.

Member for

19 years 5 months

Posts: 9,821

Sorry for your loss. Over the years, I've had to say goodbye to three bassets including Douglas (pictured).

Our new basset, Coaster, is a retired show champion and I'm always amazed at how having a dog makes you feel.
Always good for a laugh or a nuzzle.

Member for

24 years 2 months

Posts: 1,940

Sorry about your lovely cat. I know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my last dog in 2006, he was put to sleep after having a massive fit which left him partly paralysed and his loss was totally unexpected. I know the pain of losing a much loved pet.

Member for

15 years 10 months

Posts: 686

Paul

We lost our big daft Maine Coon some 4 years ago, took him in as a rescue cat and he made it to 20 years old and still looked and acted fighting fit, suddenly didn't want to know about food, grooming or indeed anything, to the vets, were they discovered a large, aggressive, inoperable tumour, they told us that from the location of the tumour it had probably been of little problem, until it intruded on vital organs, there was simply no choice in the decision and we still feel guilty that we were unable to help him.

Like yourself we were 69 and 70 years old respectively and decided that we couldn't take the pain again and of course the real possibility that another cat would out live us, however early this year a local shelter was appealing for people who would take on some of their mature animals rather than just pups or kittens, we went along, fell for and adopted a 6 year old cat, after overcoming the initial problems were she would attack if startled, this little cat is now firmly part of our lives, always comes to meet us if we have been out, thinks knees are superb spots for sleeping, is now confident and trusting of the people around her and we wouldn't give her up to anyone.

Good luck.

Member for

12 years 9 months

Posts: 385

Paul, you are not alone. Many of us here on this website and from afar have the bitter fears of never having done enough. Outside our house there are 4 pots under each rose is a cremated part of our family.

Chilly god rest his soul was with us for over 8 years. He rests under a rose called ‘remember me’ he was an unloved red tabby Persian who was scalped cos no one knew how to groom him. A character through and through. We hopefully gave him love and care. My missus and I still miss him greatly.

Next to him is Jasper. One of two cats we rehomed from North Wales. Jasper was a massive red tabby 9kg Maine Coon. Human interaction was his thing. Lie across your chest and a paw would tap your cheek. Hey I’m still here. Unfortunately after removal of a bad tooth, he developed a massive Liver Failure(anaesthetic who knows!). The vet sent him home to die. 11 months later he caught a penetrating virus and we said enough was enough. The vets and staff were magnificent. The rose is called ‘Perfect Pet’.

His compatriot was a black smoke Maine Coon. Mr Indy was the world’s most gentle giant. Never provoked no matter what, this cat stands head and shoulders above all that we have looked after in over 40 years. Never one to eat properly, we spent a lot of vet money to find out why. Totally beaten when he developed cancer of the cheek. 6 weeks later he could not eat at all. God bless him he lies beneath a rose ‘Moment in time’

Many years ago we rehomed a cream Persian called Mickey. This boy was found scavenging on the streets of London and thought to be about 4 year old. This man was full of character. Part moggie part Persian he was magic. He stayed with us for 16 years. He rests below a rose of the year ‘ Joie de virve’.

When we lost Chilli we realised that Mickey was pinning himself into an early grave. We found a Golden Persian, Percy, who needed a home. This cat had the most adorable doe eyes but hated being groomed. By the time he had reached the ancient age of 16, through fair or foul we awoke one morning to find he had no use of his back quarter. A stroke or something more before; we do not know. He rests with his mate Mickey.

When you have held a cat to drink and pee before his final dispatch to a better life you realise that you are there for them. It is their house and they eventually cross the inevitable Rainbow bridge!

Member for

12 years 9 months

Posts: 385

Paul, I have re-read your original post. Please believe me when I say this is probably not your last cat. There are many moggies out there that need all of our help. You understand the tumultuous anxiety these friends of ours are going through. We deliver them a sanctuary, love and of course food.

This week a friend of ours had extreme fighting in their multi cat home ( a build up over time). The trouble maker is a gorgeous silver chinchilla much in the vein of our recently passed Mickey. Will my two remaining Maine Coons accept him? He is settling in ok and only time will tell.

Yes; her indoors is now in her 70’s and I am the retired toy boy!

My ideal is, do not buy from breeders, rehome those that do not settle elsewhere!

Bob, the less than brain full

Profile picture for user 1batfastard

Member for

11 years 2 months

Posts: 3,650

Hi All,
Paul,
I know exactly what you are going through we have our rescue Dog Pierce and three cats all go Pierce had cancer and nothing could be done, Po had the same problem,Jessie 1 Was run over and Fluffy had a brain disease that was the worst. She started fitting we don't know how long this had gone on for but we assume and he agreed after he had put her to sleep a while and we never observed it although a few times we thought she had fallen off the back of the chair or sofa where she used to kip and the vet said this was probably the cause of her falling.

One night about 12.00am she came in had some grub took it out the bowl then started to eat of the floor, when she finished came into the kitchen she walked like she was drunk so I stayed up with her on the sofa after about 20mins or so just had a fit. It was terrible to watch I screamed for the wife balling my eyes out as I never new what to do and just panicked so during the night I tried to make sure she was as comfortable as she could be, the wife took her to the vets where she was kept in for observation and never came back, the worst of all this is I have agoraphobia it's like they she vanished.

To tell you the truth I honestly don't know if I could be strong enough to do what my wife and daughter did with Pierce and Po, watch their life just slip away, my wife and daughter were in bits when they come home each time, but fluffy was the worst because she was a house cat that was always around it just set me off. So don't be apologise when you say you cried because it has happened to all of us who have shared their story it helps heel the heartache.

We have an elderly dog Penny with us still she like the other pets was a rescue and it is only a matter of time as she approaches her 14th year, she will be loved right to her final moment because after all pets are just extensions of your family and should be loved and cared for like you would any member of that family.

The only advice that can really be given is like our vet said to have another pet when one has passed is giving a chance to another that would not otherwise get one especially rescue pets. Although we have not yet taken in anymore cats I dare say we will in the future and may even have another dog as they are good for the soul and can heal that rift you feel in your family's heart.

Geoff.

Member for

13 years

Posts: 2,841

Thank you all for your kind comments and honesty about your own experiences. 1 week on my wife and I are still raw and only slightly better,but pain and grief hit us out of the blue and we end up in tears. I know this will pass and the happy times we had with Becky will return and the feeling of loss will recede(when I don't know)

As for another cat the answer is no. We cannot go through this again the pain is to deep and we are to old. If a stray turned up I would pay its medical bills and find it a loving home but that is it now.

Thanks again for your replies it shows among other things that this world still has kindness in it!

Jenny and Paul