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By: - 2nd May 2012 at 09:05 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Armed forces black humour. In the Falklands (not sure whether this story is apocryphal) the Paras were under artillery fire. One unfortunate had his lower leg blown off to which he screamed 'Aargh, I've lost my leg.' To which his mate replied with appropriate sang froid 'No you haven't you dozy ****, it's over there.'
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 10:25 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
I like the first image. : D
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 10:33 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Armed forces black humour. In the Falklands (not sure whether this story is apocryphal) the Paras were under artillery fire. One unfortunate had his lower leg blown off to which he screamed 'Aargh, I've lost my leg.' To which his mate replied with appropriate sang froid 'No you haven't you dozy ****, it's over there.'
taken from the factual book " don't cry for me seargent major " 1983 written by journalists robert mcgowan and jeremy hands that accompanied them from being on the qe2 to actualy fighting there are lots of very humourous banter areas mostly between paras and marines a fantastic read if you can find it , just spotted my copy this morning !!
without actualy reading through the book again i think that exchange was between a para and marine wich would make it funnier but my memmory may be hazy as it is many years since i read it last
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 10:53 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
#2 Every cloud has a silver lining at least his socks will last twice as long!:)
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 10:57 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Re 1
PistonRob
May I offer a correction. I think that this is more about the Army Air Corps that the Royal Marines - but, still a fine example of Service 'black humour'.
John Green
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 11:12 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Not so much visual humour, more verbal wind-ups.
Many young, wet behind the ears airmen were told to carry out the following.
"Go to medical centre and collect a yard of fallopian tubing for an ejection seat"
"Phone this number and ask for Sgt Barker". (the number being the Police Dog Section)
"Go to stores for a left-handed screwdriver"
"Go to stores and ask for a long weight (wait!!!!!)"
"Go to stores and collect item reference number 1D-10T"
I'm sure there were many more, but these are the one's I remember best.
Regards, Cabbage
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 11:58 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Re 7
Tangmere 1940
Don't think so. The chaps to the left look as if they are dressed a la Army Air Corps. What I take to be a missile battery, is not normally part of Commando equipment - or wasn't in my day.
What you refer to as a clue is the title Marine on the side of a helicopter. This is a device used by the American Marines - who are known to be sometimes confused - to know where they belong. And best of all Andy, is the United States Star insignia under the NE of Marines.
You might need a magnifying glass!
John Green
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 16:12 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
What you refer to as a clue is the title Marine on the side of a helicopter.
Have a careful look at the camouflage stripe to the left of ‘MARINES’ on the helicopter. ;)
I think that was the meaning of the original post about the ‘Marines artwork’. The photographs are from all over, AAC, US Marines, US Army, US Air Force...
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 16:31 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
A story I was told by the Co-Pilot of an RAF B-24 while training high over the Canadian Prairies:
The Bomb-Aimer comes up from the nose of the aircraft and passes between the Pilots; ‘I’m just going back for a pee’ he says as he heads aft. The Captain grins at the Co-Pilot (who is flying the aircraft) as he watches the Bomb-Aimer make his way aft. After a while, when the Bomb-Aimer is standing at the Elsan (chemical toilet), has undone all of his bulky flying clothing and is just starting to relieve himself...
...the Captain turns back to the Co-Pilot, grins again, and yells.....‘corkscrew, port, GO!’ :diablo:
[Thanks Dad.....that always makes me laugh!]
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 18:27 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
new young recruit sat on a herc next to my brother ready to depart to germany
recruit " how often do these things crash ??"
brother " just the once then they're ****ed !!
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 18:34 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
brother to same recruit ( genuinely scared of flying ) " of course these are the old ones with the manual gearbox , you have to hope the pilot gets second gear ok on take off otherwise it gets messy !! luckily i have never been on one but have seen it ,,,,, it's the screams that keep you awake though !!! "
he then proceeded to settle for a sleep !!
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 19:12 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
:) Love that, manual gearbox, that's going in the memory banks for next time I take a novice flying :diablo:
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 19:14 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Re 10
Creaking Door
Trust me to completely miss the point ! I'm leaving quietly by the side door.
John Green
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 19:16 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Not so much visual humour, more verbal wind-ups.Many young, wet behind the ears airmen were told to carry out the following.
"Go to medical centre and collect a yard of fallopian tubing for an ejection seat"
"Phone this number and ask for Sgt Barker". (the number being the Police Dog Section)
"Go to stores for a left-handed screwdriver"
"Go to stores and ask for a long weight (wait!!!!!)"
"Go to stores and collect item reference number 1D-10T"
I'm sure there were many more, but these are the one's I remember best.
Regards, Cabbage
go fetch some Tartan paint always worked
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 19:17 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
IF THE PARACHUTE DOESN`T WORK, BRING IT BACK. is a fave also
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 19:59 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Debriefing room freshly painted and to stop us leaning on the wall in our dirty overalls, notices had been put up "Do not lean against the wall" day after the Italian football disaster where one collapsed, notices found overnight to have been amended with "there might be a bunch of Italians behind it"
Early morning knock off after long night shift Chiefly rigger washing hands dips his hand into the swarfega can and scoops out a turd... Everyone collapses in a fit of hysteria...
VC 10 line, new rigger on shift, toilet caps on ten are just above head height, rush out to plane, open panel, open sluice valve, nice pile moves behind cap, close valve, close panel and wait.... :D
One off pprune..
Out in desert GW1 lack of toilets so slit trench dug for urinal... Night and pitch black, someone breaks some chemsticks and put along edge of trench so you can see where to stand in dark...... Middle of night someone moves chemlights to other side of trench :D
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 20:05 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
go fetch some Tartan paint always worked
didn't always go to plan , tartan was a british leyland red , i pi***d a mechanic off by taking back a can of dupli colour tartan red !!
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 20:06 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Bullnight St Athans training, Lino floored barrack, one guy carrying bumper block ( used to polish floor) drops it and tears a 1 inch v in Lino..... We are officially in the poo megga time, senior man thinks... Grabs the V and tears about 10 foot of lino up, quick tip over your beds and lockers.... Job done we all trapse to guardroom.... Please Sgt someone has wrecked our room...... Sh*t hits the fan, big inquiry other rooms deny all knowledge and no one owns up, other 3 rooms put on extra inspections and we are excused future inspections. :p
By: - 2nd May 2012 at 20:08 Permalink - Edited 1st January 1970 at 01:00
Raf Odiham, sign on ceiling in dental section where they put you under "w*nking makes you blind"
Posts: 865
By: pistonrob - 1st May 2012 at 21:26
surely there must be tons of stuff out there from all sides of the armed forces. im quite taken by the Marines artwork
GO ON, GIZ A LAUGH