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Thread: Faking It

  1. #1
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    Faking It

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    Faking It

    I thought it may be of interest to forumites how I faked the Sigh for a Merlin article, although it would seem forumites didn't fall for it.

    The article took over a month to write, and then much time was spent on layout, font type, column widths, paper texture and colour. The first obstacle to overcome was finding suitable blank newspaper, which was resolved in an epiphany moment, which resulted in my jumping into the car and driving to the fish and chip shop.Now, once inside, I couldn't really say that I needed some fish and chip paper to write a fictitious article titled Sigh for a Merlin, or they might have thought that I wasn't the full picnic, so my only option was to use the paper my fish and chips were wrapped in; therefore, I had, on a number of occasions, to forsake salt and vinegar because I didn't want the paper to be stained, and then when they were being wrapped, I would cringe at the number of folds being made because they were going to take a lot of ironing. As I discovered, fish and chip paper varies in colour, so I had to frequent the fish and chip shop on multiple occasions in order to gather a selection of paper to work with and which I could match to an edition of the Times that I had chosen to use. I must have made up the article at least ten times before it was good enough. I had decided that it was important that the article was put into the context of an actual paper to give it greater credibility, rather than being a stand alone piece.To join the pieces of paper together I used gummed paper tape, which has a great advantage over selotape: the advantage being that it shrinks, pulling the joints even closer together. Although I was able to match the colour of the blank piece of fish and chip paper almost perfectly with the Times articles that I attached it to, I still needed to blend in the colours at the joint themselves where there wasn't a natural break or border; therefore, I cut long triangular segments to blend the colours and disguise the joint lines. Long tapered lines are almost indiscernible to the eye where as horizontal and verticals are easily seen. In one of the attached pictures I overlaid a transparency and marked all the joint lines. So that basically explains how I faked it - perhaps, I've watched the Great Escape too many times.


    On the subject of the Great Escape, I visited Stalag Luft III a few years ago with a friend, and also visited Colditz, staying in the youth hostel inside the castle. I am probably the first Englishman who has asked to be let back into Colditz since the end of the war, having mistakenly locked myself out of the youth hostel! We were very fortunate that the castle was mid-way through a major renovation and its first since the war; therefore, it was very untouched since those days. The planking to the chapel floor was up and we saw the huge 9"x9" oak floor beams, which had traversed the route of the French POWs, and had necessitated them sawing through the beams with tableware knives. We also saw Douglas Bader's old room, which was still in its attire from its East German days when Colditz was an asylum for the mentally ill. The room had an unpleasant ambiance, which sent a chill down your spine when you thought of some poor soul incarcerated in there and imagining the conditions and care they were subjected too.

    At the end of our tour the German guide said abruptly, " And for you the tour is over." But with her heavy German accent it sounded very much like " And for you the war is over." Was this a possible attempt at humour?

  2. #2
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    Am I alone in thinking this is deeply odd?

  3. #3
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    I thought that it was written four days too late.

  4. #4
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    Fish & Chips still wrapped in newsprint.?

    Brian
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by flyingfigtree View Post
    Am I alone in thinking this is deeply odd?
    I thought it was pointless rather than odd.

  6. #6
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    There are a lot of killjoys about.

    I appreciate the effort behind this spoof.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by flyingfigtree View Post
    Am I alone in thinking this is deeply odd?
    Nope. I was lost here, so I took a walk through OP's post history and all became, somewhat anticlimactically, clear. OP produced a spoof article about the BBMF replacing their Merlins with Allisons. In this thread they are detailing the rather process they used to spoof the article. Light-hearted fun.

  8. #8
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    I've done something similar, producing a facsimile of a wartime AFEE report so I could use it as a base for a model rather than using an original document. Its not easy finding Foolscap paper these days.

    As for the last sentence I was at a meeting with Airbus Germany when the lead German engineer explained that after all the problems the project was having there would be "a final solution". He was more than a little bemused at the other nations around the table all coughing and muttering "YOU can't say that".

  9. #9
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    I didn't see it the first time round, but its just a bit of fun, and nicely done too.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pen Pusher
    Fish & Chips still wrapped in newsprint.?

    Brian
    Funnily enough there are some chippies that used fake newspaper wrapping paper...
    Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior...

    行雲流水

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  11. #11
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    Neatly done.

  12. #12
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    Interesting. Newsprint also available as packing material, should be fairly common. Comes in sheets in a box or on a roll. For next time


    greg v.

  13. #13
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    It was a well-written bit of fun, and that's OK. No ill will whatsoever.

    Most of us have put our energies into projects that are seen by others as obsessive, and trivial, and a waste of time. As long as we reel ourselves in and remember to pay our bills, and don't lose a job or a spouse over it, such efforts are usually worth the effort, even if they go underappreciated by others.

    We'd better be on the lookout next April Fools Day, though.
    Last edited by Matt Poole; 6th April 2017 at 05:05. Reason: typo fix
    "The RAF Museum show has been forensically examined and was deeply unimpressive. I knew that their whale of a story was loaded with baloney".

  14. #14
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    Sep 2016
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    Dear Forumites,
    Thanks to those who posted positive comments concerning my attempt at a little fun on April Fool's Day. I only visit this forum when I have the opportunity to visit the library, which explains my long absences.

    Regards

    Foxtrot 01

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pen Pusher View Post
    Fish & Chips still wrapped in newsprint.?

    Brian
    They use the same type of paper as it was found to be the best type to use and yes someone did actually research and test this! They had to stop using printed paper over the inks used and health concerns

  16. #16
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    I've often surmised that H&S rules will be the death of us

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malcolm McKay View Post
    I've often surmised that H&S rules will be the death of us
    Somewhere, either Beamish, Black Country Museum or Blist's Hill - I can't remember which- still serves fish and chips in "newspaper". Presumably this is specially printed now with safe food colouring inks

    Historic aviation to heritage fish and chips- that's quite a jump.....

  18. #18
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    Being 70 and having as a child eaten fish and chips from newspaper wrapped packages, as well as (shock gasp!!!!) earning some pocket money by selling the local fish and chip man old newspapers from home to wrap his glorious product I wonder what immeasurable damage I have done to myself and to many others by this ill-informed and lucre driven behaviour.

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