House is now a Radio 4-free zone, and the TV news will be given a wide berth for a few days also.
Let me guess
Labour "Triumph. Ed Millipede is God"
Conservatives "Usual mid-term issues. We lost no seats in Scotland"
Liberals "Usual mid term issues from supporting what we know is right for Britain"
UKIP "Triumph for us, shows we are now a real party"
National Front "Immigrants (non-white) go home"
Green Party "Stop planting GM seeds. We want organic muesli"